You were a dream, now memory.

Orientation Day 1

2011-06-10T20:48:00.008-07:00

i've tossed and turned.

woken up several times.

well, i lost counts. =p

something nice about the dorm is that it's always cold.

which is a thumbs-up since i've never be a fan of heat.

yeah, i came from Malaysia and lived in Yuma.

you can say they are two of the hottest places in the world.

i woke up around 7. my roommate has already took her shower at 6 in the morning.

that's something i would never. ever. do in my life. haha.

casual outfit and off i went for the adventure.

let's say there was TONS of walking.

i'm glad i "stole" my mom's flip flop.

any other kind of shoes would have killed my feet.

moreover, the gruesome weather.

i hope my facial sunblock spf 110 helped even a bit. =)

yes. 110. isn't that abso-amazing-lutely??

they gave all of the incoming freshman a $9 meal card.

which is totally awesome. i spent my first meal on burger king's french fries.

*don't judge =p

the campus is huuuuuge. i'm not even kidding.

there's no way. NO WAY. you would know where to go if you don't have a map in your hand.

well, i think the map would be kinda useless if u don't even know hot to use it.

hahaha!!

since it's summer. so not every student is here.

yeah, no hot asians. how disappointing.

wait till august. =)

i was planning to leave around 1.15 to meet up with my family before they return to yuma.

unfortunately, there was a mandatory session that i had to attend. =/

i was hoping to have a last lunch with them.

next time.

i think i'm doing pretty well here.

of course everything's still so new to me.

and it's only the second day.

my roommate is pretty nice and cool.

so i believe she can put up with my anti social attitude.

lol.

oh! and i applied to U of A by declaring pre-pharmacy.

then i leaned toward engineering.

now. i'm in the college of science.

i know i know.

i haven't even start my classes and here i am.

already switching back and forth.

it's not a crime. haha!!

2010-07-18T14:50:00.002-07:00

been reading a lot of j magazines.

well, it's really boring when there's pretty much nothing to do.

except eat and sleep.

also started picking up some korean reality show, like We Got Married. ^^

Kana Nishino on the cover of Jelly

Arime from S Cawaii

Chinatsu Wakatsuki

summer in Las Vegas

2010-07-12T10:32:00.011-07:00

i haven't written a post since....god knows when. =p

parents left to new york last night.

so we have the whole apartment to ourselves again.

yeah yeah. ^^

there's a new korean town in vegas now. not that big though.

still pretty cool since my sis is so so obsessed with korean thingy. -_-

see. she even found two things with hyori's face on. LOL!

my sis and i have been here since a week ago.

no library everyday and whatsoever.

i'm constantly on the computer.

cuz there ain't nothing to do here other than that.

sad huh.

well, i'm almost done with my books.

i'm no kidding when i said i read a book per day.

and no, it's a freaking 320 pages book alright.

pfft. =)

but then i got distracted for watching 下一站，幸福.

vaness is so hot. xD!!

btw, new glasses. xD

bro doesn't work on wednesday and thursday.

so we went to Town Square to watch Eclipse~~~~~~~

i'm not that crazy about it.

but i got to get out. so why not. =]

and this place is awesome!!

later, we had our lunch/dinner in a malaysian restaurant.

cool huh? u can find a malaysian restaurant in vegas. LOL!!

roti canai

煲仔面

滑蛋河

nasi lemak

satay!!!!

the next day, which is thursday.

bro brought us to his school library.

it's so damn quiet. i even walked so slowly that i wouldn't make ANY noise. =p

my sis and i were like taking out books then put it back.

over and over again.

yes, we were bored. haha!

then we went to this local library. it's not as nice as the one in my town.

boo. they don't have the books i want. =(

she was just flipping through the pages, looking at pictures.

after we left both libraries, we stopped by Walmart to get some stuff.

we found milo!!!! but we didn't buy it. cuz i'm lazy to boil the water and bla bla bla.

first home cooked meal.

i made the korean BBQ ribs.

second day.

the fish tasted weird.

blehhh.

yesterday, parents got here in the morning.

we had dim sum. then walked around in Fashion Show mall.

it's huge. i like it a lot. ^^

my mom brought me a smaller bag.

i wanted pink, but Foever21 didn't have it. =(

hello kitty!!!

later that night, bro got home around 9.

he shouldn't be cuz he had to work.

he was released early so we went to the pool.

at night. -_-.

the nearest one is a bit packed. so we walked around the apartment to find another pool.

then that one was too dirty. we walked to third one and finally settled there.

of course, i do not know how to swim.

it doesn't matter right. haha!

then we were all starving, we had out dinner/supper at Sushi Mon.

strawberry-flavored mochi ♥

that's green tea ice cream. not wasabi. xD

JELLY/ViVi mag - july 2010

2010-07-09T14:20:00.006-07:00

我最喜欢的kana-chan都有出现在Jelly和ViVi。

开心开心。

it's all too late.

2010-06-13T01:07:00.003-07:00

i'm on the edge of breaking down once again.
it always ends this way.
why me out of all people?
i let my guard down.
i shouldn't have let anyone else in.
who to blame.
only myself.

i just wish u could have given me more time.
to get to know me.
u made up ur mind.
what could i say to make a difference.
i respect what u've chosen.
we go separate ways.
but...
u should have given me a chance.

out of all places.
ur green truck. right behind my car.
saw her right next to u.
where i was a week ago.
try so hard not to look at the mirror.
try so hard not to look at u and her.
my eyes stung with tears.
please don't see me.
i chose to let go.
but seeing her with u.
still hurts.
i'm left behind.
nobody cares.
cuz i'm the only one who cares.

i'm not mad.
u're still such a nice guy.
u weren't like the last one.
who was a coward and avoided me for days.
i appreciate ur honesty.
ur kindness.
thank you.

u made me sacrifice too much.

2010-06-04T23:50:00.003-07:00

when u're the one who is involved in the whole situation.
there's no way u can think straight.
well, at least i can't.
my mind is one hell of a mess.
when i get used to a person's existence.
if that day he happens not to find me.
gosh that ticks me off.
i don't even know if i'm just desperate for someone's company.
(FYI it's summer and it's so damn bored)
or i actually have developed some sort of feelings.
which clearly i have a problem with sorting out currently.
geez it bugs me so much i can break a vampire's neck.
that's why i hate when i'm being controlled by emotions.
gosh i hate it with a passion.
i just realized my fear is much more serious than i thought.
i guess i need to be alone.
oh sanity. please be close.

我被。。告白。。难以置信。。哈哈。。

2010-05-31T01:08:00.002-07:00

决定用中文写这个po。

因为他不会念中文呀。

哈哈。

他跟我告白耶。

我现在还是觉得很难以置信。

谁会要喜欢上我这个笨蛋。

对不对。

我也不知道要怎样面对。

第一次耶。

有点想笑。

哈哈。

哎呀！不知道啦！

就暂时写着这么多吧。

再见咯！=)

2010-05-27T22:46:00.002-07:00

it's the last day of school.

after three days of final.

i'm no longer a junior now!

i'm a senior! whee! =)

i didn't study for my math. so i just "tembak".

i think i screwed up. LOL.

well, who cares. i'm done with geometry.

done with Mr. Ji.

done with school.

syok sei la. hahaha!

i started to get really sick the day before the final started.

it was really bad. i tried a lot of pills.

they didn't work at all.

why did i even get sick at the worst time. lol.

i swear i was gonna pass out anytime.

real bad, child.

i think the cause of it was staying up until 4 in the morning that saturday.

talking with yumi.

and breaking apart cuz i realized u've left 4 years ago.

i was the fool that lingered on our memories.

i'm feeling better today. i got my voice back.

i can't talk much, but it's better than nothing. =)

and i'm hooked in the glee version of Poker Face.

Can't read my,
Can't read my,
No, he can't read my poker face,
She's got to love nobody.

2010-05-18T23:26:00.002-07:00

these couple days have been awfully dreadful.
i still have about 2 weeks left of school.
sweet.
but before that.
i barely know anything enough to go through my finals.
i haven't even start studying any crap.
fml.

i wonder how i'm gonna spend my summer this time.
last year. i spent every second crouching in my house.
see how exciting that was. -_-
summer oh summer.
it can get so frigging hot until i don't want to step a single foot outside of the door.
blah blah.
suckish.

good luck to those who are taking the exam now.
and good luck to myself.
looking forward to see me get crushed.
yeah me.

wanna run away from love.

2010-05-11T21:49:00.004-07:00

i just got back from the last orchestra concert of this year.

the choir was pretty good.

A was there. i was like omgfriggingod.

he's friend of Bonnie and Ryan. lucky. pfft.

i told Avery and she cracked up.

she said she thinks he's cute too.

i can't believe my sis didn't take any picture.

sigh. forget her.

so i've been shopping at El Centro for last two Saturdays. =)

i spent about 90 bucks the first time. hell yeah.

i must have lost my mind. dammit.

but i got a lot of nice stuff.

and Mother's Day was just like every other day.

nothing special.

my mom wants something that i can't afford.

so i just bought her brunch.

lol. diamond. next time.

2010-05-08T00:37:00.003-07:00

he really did came to school today. =)

but he was coughing a bit.

and prom is tomorrow.

i'm a bit unbelievable that i'm not going to our school FIRST prom ever.

erm. did i mention "first"?

yes. first!!!

i have a C in chemistry.

that pissed me off. LOL.

i was flipping out and all.

tiff was like, "ah, just shut up."

haha.

and my AIMS writing test is only 4 points away to exceed.

ohmyfrigginggod.

so not gonna take it anymore.

hell no.

2010-05-06T22:01:00.003-07:00

i really like Wei Son. i don't know if it's the fact that she's the only Chinese popteen model.

LOL. i love her hair and i want it!!!

B hasn't come to school for 2 days.

Lorean said he has sore throat or something. really sick.

awww. poor B. i wonder if he'll come to school tomorrow.

i miss his beautiful hair. especially those smiles. =p

i dreamt of Yumi the day before yesterday.

somehow i was in Malaysia.

i asked for her forgiveness and we had so much fun shopping.

sigh. i really miss her and all.

but i don't know how to approach her again.

the matter is. i'm not even sure what was the fight about.

-_-

thanks to Chow. now i'm kinda hooked on Glee.

love those songs.

"one less bell to answer", "total eclipse of heart", "fire"

but no hot guys or chicks.

too bad. haha!

Bianca introduced Shiver to me.

i inadvertently found it in the local library.

sweet! =) now i'm already half way through the book.

Nothing I can say
Total eclipse of the heart

2010-05-04T22:35:00.003-07:00

last thursday. we had like a prom presentation.
it was quite epic. we even had helicopter landing on the football field.
actors acting dead and drunk.
i was looking for B everywhere. then found him sitting him Yoko in the upper bleachers.
on the way back. i was walking a step faster than tay and others.
then B called after me and asked how was the presentation.
guess what. i was so nervous and i told him it was boring.
...... great -_-

yesterday. vanesssa and the girls talked about him again.
idk why it has become like a must-bring-up topic everytime in chemistry class.
LOL. tay said joe noticed the way i react to B.
he kenw it right away that i like him.
ish ish.

today during history class.
i didn't get my work done cuz i was talking too much with E.
Kam joined into our conversation sometimes.
especially when i said "bad-ass" and "tight".
they cracked up. ==
but i had fun laughing with them.
i don't do this much in school.

here is where things got so bad.
Zach pulled my stool and i fell.
i guess i was so shocked i cried.
i didn't even stand up.
i just sat on the floor rubbing my elbow.
Vanessa just lifted me up and sat me down on the stool.
honestly, i don't know why was i crying.
it's not like i'm really angry or sad.
but it got me so mad when he didn't apologize.
and gave all this fucking lame excuses.
tay was pretty mad and berating Zach.
when u did something wrong, just say a fucking sorry won't hurt u ok.
it doesn't matter that i didn't break my head.
u're not excused cuz i'm alright ok.
just say what if i broke my elbow or head.
u never know.
and i can't be wounded in any kind of way.
it's a really big deal to me.
i don't consult to a doctor or whatsoever even i'm unable to get out of my bed.
i just pray to god and drink lots of water until i'm recovered.
i would not go to a hospital. never.
u just turned out to be another asshole like those motherfuckers.
so go fuck urself.

Vanessa was with me the whole time.
she said she'll beat him up tmr.
lol. not necessary.
when i was in the restroom cleaning my face and all.
i looked into the mirror.
i finally understand why tay would have said this earlier.
my eyes were glowing with red veins.
like a vampire, u know.
such a breathtaking creature i was, i thought.

it made me felt a bit better when B said bye.
i had my big pink shades covering my swollen eyes.
i wanted a hug from B that moment.
but i just watched him walked away with his friends.

i hate it when people just look for excuses to be forgiven.
screw you.

2010-05-01T22:04:00.003-07:00

i took the SAT today. did not eat any breakfast.
damn it. i was starving.
kids from Cibola, Kofa and bla were there too.
not that i know any of them.
spent most time with mun yee and her thai friend.
there's 10 section and they were jumping all around.
math then english. math again. english then math.
-_- whatever.

i'm not going to our school first prom ever.
probably next year.
i turned down vanessa and tiffany.
they were like, "siew didn't wanna go with me. sob!"
LOL. i think the prom is gonna be awesome.
but still i'm not going. nah-uh.

my goddam braces is scratching my inner cheeks.
effing hurt like shit. damn it.

sis.
i don't like u poking around my blog.
shoo!

i need someone to tell me how foolish i am.
blehhh.

my sis bought me a really cute necklace.
arigato!!!

2010-04-29T23:56:00.002-07:00

I only know that since he left
My life's so empty,
Though I try to forget it, just can't be done
Each time the doorbell rings, I still run

the dream left me so uneasy.

it was so vivid and real.

i couldn't get your words out of mind.

just like reminding me.

u're gone forever.

u're no longer mine.

everyone dreams.

i never rmb mine.

they always disappear right when i open my eyes.

but did this particular one.

leave me shaking inside.

i could hardly breathe.

No more laughter, no more love

2010-04-28T22:19:00.003-07:00

here's the shirt. =)

sorry for the delay.

the ACT was one hell of a long test.
not to mention.
science was absolutely brutal.
it makes perfectly no sense.
even the smart kids guess on it.
dang it.
this saturdary i'm taking a 6-hours long SAT.
even better. ==
ish ish.

B came to our geometry class to hang out with us.
he asked Mr. Ji if he could chill here.
then Mr. Ji made him to do the bell work.
weird but B did it on the whiteboard anyway.
he pulled a chair and sat down between me and W.
he was sitting so so so goddamn close.
his hand leaning on my chair.
my face and his were only 2 or 3 inches away.
yeah. my heart was pumping all fast.
but i stayed exactly on my seat.
imagine how nervous i was.

they were all talking about this crazy chick.
who wouldn't leave W the hell alone.
when i said crazy.
she's ridiculously insane.
she has issues. big issues.
since she couldn't get what she wanted.
she became this ugly spoiled brat.
insulting W. ==
she even sent a stupid "making out" pic to W.
what on earth is she thinking.
eeewwww.

B asked twice why wasn't i talking.
LOL.
he asked if i'm nervous around Loren them.
my mind was like, "not them, it's you."
of course the hell i didn't say that out loud.
i just told him i'm always quiet like that.
btw. i was telling the truth. i don't talk much at school.
then he said i talk to E in history class all the time.
=p

i don't know what did he do with his cellphone.
he broke it. has to wait until next week to upgrade it.
poor him. he's a texter.
the bell rang. he got up and walked away.
i called Loren.
she asked, "how was that? u're alright?"
haha. no. i was still making sure if i'm dreaming.
then she gazed over my shoulder.
yup. he's standing there.
i said goodbye to Loren and walked towards the door.
B went, "siew, u're not gonna say goodbye to me?"
so i walked up to him and he gave me a hug.
dang he's tall.

FYI. i'm merely an observer. admirer perhaps.
i ain't no stalker. =p

2010-04-25T22:58:00.004-07:00

got my goddamn bottom braces done yesterday morning.
it's hurting like crap.
but thanks to that unbearable pain.
it distracts me from thinking what i'm supposed to.
sigh.
i can barely eat anything.
gotta starve for at least 1 week.
bugger.

dream is overrated.
words are endless.
just like part of my soul was ripped out.
and burn to hell.
nothing makes sense.
i don't make sense to myself either.
heart ached once more.
wasn't able to hold back the tears.

i never meant to bring any trouble for u.
please don't cry.
i'm so sorry.
i never should have said anything.
or should i have did something.
i wish i could i control how i feel.
sorry.

i beg u.
leave me alone.
i'm done with this.
i'm through with it.
give me a break please.
i'm too tired to go on.

thongie.
you made my day last night. =)
it's hard for us not to spill any juice.
miss u my friend.
muaxxx!

reality breaks every hope.

1st annual talent show

2010-04-23T17:42:00.004-07:00

so the talent show was yesterday.
it was ridiculously cold.
==
the pattering of drizzle been going on for a whole day.

anyway.
so i showed up around 6.35.
with my mom and sis.
yes. B was there.
=)

i wanted to practice for a bit.
met the banjo guy.
then B and J offered to move the piano to back stage.
so i was like, "u guys are amazing."
he goes, "just for u, siew."
omg........he's so cute!
omg omg omg.
i know it doesn't meant much.
cuz he's the really nice kind of guy.

although i'm very familiar with this piece.
i was still shaking the whole time.
idk why was i so nervous. lol.
i had to go after the dance crew.
which is second. dang.
when i stepped out from the curtain.
i couldn't see a thing. jesus.
the light was so bright, too.
sigh.
so i just messed up a bit.
a little bit. i swear. =D

they really like my performance.
B came up to me and give me a hug.
it definitely took my by surprise.
ohmychrist. XD
i kinda did like a side hug.
no kidding. he's super uber tall.
anyhow.
i'm not that buddy with him.
don't push too far, right.
hehe.
i've lost count how many times we've hi-fived.
dang he has huge hands.

today he didn't come to school.
i guess he ditched.
L told me that B thinks i'm cute.
awwwww......
idk if he really means it or whatever.
i'm really thrilled already.
haha.

so this post ended up talking all about him.
sorry about that.
=)

nina bf. good luck with my girlfriends =)

2010-04-21T16:05:00.003-07:00

BeeChian Phuah › Ng Kher Shin: sure!! i would like to see his chopped off head soon haha.ttyl and bye. good night =)
Ng Kher Shin › BeeChian Phuah: HAHAH. i want baskin robin's ice cream! that'll be enough. yes ma'am, you can trust me on killing Lee Hong Nian tomorrow. thursday, 4.36 pm sharp ;D anyways, i g2g : ) BYEEE.
BeeChian Phuah › Ng Kher Shin: of course i dont and stab him with all your effort.so you are now my officially hired assassin and promised me to do so? haha dealed?? i gotta remind you that i am kinder broke now and i cant afford a high payment T.T
Ng Kher Shin › BeeChian Phuah: so there should at least be 2 stabs, but you dont mind if i stab a lil more righhtttt ;D
BeeChian Phuah › Ng Kher Shin: too bad i wouldnt meet him.could i hire you to be my assassin? pleaseeeee =)
Ng Kher Shin › BeeChian Phuah: HAHAH. i might be sitting next to him tomorrow. should i use my blade or my fingernails. HAHA.
BeeChian Phuah › Ng Kher Shin: welcome ;) ya i really thought of killing him.he grabbed your gf and my fiance away right? may be you should stab him once and follow by mine =P
Ng Kher Shin › BeeChian Phuah: thanks for accepting : ) *points relationship status* let us kill hongnian XD

look at them. look at them!
LOL.
my girlfriends are plotting to kill my boyfriend.
omg. XD
the worst part is.
all kher shin wants is a freaking ice cream!!!!!
jesuschrist.
hahahaha!
i'm laughing my ass off now.
omg.

it's just hilarious, alright =)

2010-04-20T16:51:00.003-07:00

alright alright.

so i'm gonna tell u what just happened.

i'm still going "oh my god! oh my god! oh my FREAKING god!" until now.

haha!

trust me.

bianca, bee chian, mj.

u wanna hear this. XD

so today's the 2nd rehearsal for the talent show.

i wasn't expecting B to show up with his buddy John, u know.

cuz he never did.

when i heard his voice, i turned around.

i was like "s**t." XD

my dad has to pick me up at 4.15.

and time was running out.

so when it's my turn to get up there.

i kinda rushed through the song.

trying not to be too obvious at the same time.

haha!

so i walked back down from the stage.

grabbed my backpack and textbook.

B was sitting at the last row with J.

i tried so hard not to glance over that direction.

just when i almost stepped out from the exit.

he yelled out my name couple times.

"Siew! hey siew!"

so i backed up and walked to him.

u have no idea how nervous i was.

jesus lord.

so he went like, "that was amazing."

and he gave me a hi five.

but it was more than just slap and slide.

he actually grasped it for 2 seconds.

my mind was gonna explode, i swear.

heart was racing and all.

millions of things were going through my mind at that couple seconds.

"he thinks i'm amazing"

"he has such big hand. omg"

"he's so cute. awww"

"jesus. am i listening to what he's saying"

"urgh! i can't concentrate of what he's saying"

"my face's now showing how nervous i am, right"

"oooh. there's pizza on his lap"

LOL!!!!!!!!!!

then he said he wants to listen to that Titanic song.

i told him next time.

and quickly backed away to the door.

he asked again. "why are u leaving so quickly?"

i said i don't drive and dad's picking me up.

then bye. haha.

i know i sound absolutely so ridiculous now.

but i just can't stop laughing over myself.

for being so stupid like a child.

*grin*

tell me u love my story k.

xoxo.

I'd risk my life to feel your body next to mine.

2010-04-14T23:46:00.008-07:00

there's no more right or wrong.
true or false. good or bad.
explanation isn't needed.
no matter how the things turn out.
i'm not the one who can control.
neither do i want to be in control.

go with the flow.
ain't that a nice phrase?
i'm gonna lay back and watch the movie plays.
words can never completely tell a story.
it comes from the heart.
i no longer wanna talk.
i'll know someday.
but not right now.

so B made a shirt asking this cheerleader to go to prom.
how cute.
i have a pic of it. show u next time.
he talked to me in class today.
i take that his BFF, J has told him to talk to me.
B thought i'm in J's homeroom. which is so not true. =p
he also said H let him listen to the song i played.
during the audition of talent show.
he goes, "u play really well. i'm looking forward to hear u play."
a good start eh. =)
but it doesn't really matter.
i don't really mind how things turn out now.
i have more important stuff in mind.

i got my progress report today.
so glad that i FINALLY earn a solid A in chemistry. =D
now gonna work hard for this last grading period.
then summer holiday.
i really really hope i'm able to go back to Ipoh this summer.
well. it's the last time everyone would be together right.
sigh.

so i'm a blogger.
i don't really know if i have a purpose behind it.
if i'm exposing myself on the internet.
even to the whole word.
but the point is.
who really care what u wrote? who gives a shit?
if there is a better way to express myself.
would i still be here typing every crap i've been through.
no. so this is how i phrase it.
i am who i am. i am what i am.
love me or hate me.
ur choice. never mine.
"nobody will ever understand u except urself.
u have to be ur best friend."
the last thing i can put into words now.

I'm trying my best not to blow it.
And I know everything will be fine

不管结果是怎样，真的永远都不会忘记你

2010-04-13T16:44:00.003-07:00

这次就用中文打日志好了。
当做是我唯一现在能给你最后的尊重。
看不懂或者不习惯中文的人就多多抱歉了。

记得一提到回忆是那么让人回味。
你总是说成是间坏事似的。
你就是那么的直率，坦诚。
最喜欢和羡慕就是你这一点。
从不为任何人而过日子。
只要想听最真心的话。
问你就得了。
但也因为太直接有时会无心顶撞人。
甚至几次真的被你气到无可奈何。
还记得以前我会推下你的鞋子。
提醒你说话也要顾下别人的感受。

要不是你说我太乐观。
我还真的不晓得自己原来也有这一面。
只要和我熟的朋友。
都知道我是非常情绪化。
总是七上八下。
要哭就哭。
从不掩饰自己的泪水。
这乐观的一面应该只在你面前才会表现出来吧。
但是说到这。变得乐观被你说成好像不是件好事。
难道我这个朋友真的就让你那么失望吗？
是我太过简单。还是你要求的我无法为你做到。

被朋友遗弃真的比整个社会排挤来得遭。
这种感受未必每个人都能了解和感受的了。
我真的不贪心。
我不需要是你心中最要好的。
或是最重视的朋友。
我没想要求什么。
只是偶尔聊下天。
讨论哪一个popteen或vivi里的模特儿正。
爱上什么款式的衣服。
高中过后的打算还是没变吗。
找到韩文补习班了没。
那么简单的东西足以在我脸挂上笑容。
真的不需要你给我什么。
但从你的反应判断出来。
我连做你朋友的资格也失去了吧。
很失败对吧。

知道你本性不喜欢说太多。
更讨厌无法完完全全表达心情的字语。
但我能给的也只能是这些。
我不介意主动化解我们之间的尴尬气氛。
问题是你这个人一旦决定了一件事情。
劝你求你好像也不能帮我补回一把。
因为我也没有勇气和信心告诉你。
我一定会挽回我们的友情。
我一定不会让你失望。
我一定不会让你讨厌我。
这样说就跟自己说骗话没两样。
所以到底该怎么办。

你们一直以来都是我的精神支柱。
因为知道你们不会放弃我。
我也很努力的为自己的生活而奋斗。
就算在这里是那么地陌生。
那么地孤单也无所谓。
因为知道自己比很多人都来得幸福的。
像证明自己真的能很好。
让你们不需要担心。
你们过得好和开心。
我真的什么都不要。

这种想法是叫做太天真还是太傻。
更让我心疼是被你们问。
“我还是你的朋友吗？你相信我吗？你真的了解我吗？”
对呀。我们现在的关系还能算得上朋友了吗。
我这朋友做到这种地步真的失败透了。
感觉上自己失去了一大半。
现在还能什么。
到底该做些什么。

我很累。
应该好好休息啦。
拜拜。

虽然是失去了，我真的还会爱你们。

2010-04-06T22:14:00.003-07:00

as u know.

i'm perfectly safe now. =)

which is a very good thing right.

but i was really sick that day when the earthquake happened.

anyhow.

i wasn't expecting it to hit indonesia.

so glad it didn't effect malaysia too much.

god bless us.

happy birthday to WEI LIP and BEE CHIAN!!!

i'm a bit upset that i missed lip's birthday party.

again. =(

or everytime.

since he used to..erm..dislike me somehow?

haha.

it's all right now.

we both love each other very much. =D

and i spent 2 or 3 hours last night chatting with him.

didn't even bother if it was almost 2.

lol. we hardly talk.

so i don't care if the ghost is gonna jump up in front of me.

or whatever. =p

as for bee.

i "kindly" made a video for her.

just to cheer her up.

those who don't have a birthday video from me.

doesn't mean i don't love u as much as i love bee.

so don't be jealous k.

lol.

earth, please stop shaking already.

2010-04-04T17:14:00.002-07:00

i'm like seriously.

why did they pick the worst day to have earthquake.

big shit.

i'm feeling so ill

and the quake was or is still playing hide and seek with me.

jesus lord.

just as i'm writing this post.

the house just shaked again.

ohmychrist.

i'm so so tired right now.

i just want to lay on my bed and sleep.

sob.

i mean what if i'm gone today.

i didn't even get to talk to so many friends.

and that jerk is still avoiding me.

guys.

just wanna say if anything happens to me.

please don't forget me.

i'll love everyone of u.

muaxxx.

2010-03-22T22:56:00.003-07:00

this couple days have been absolutely wonderful.
i haven't feel so chillax for a long LONG time.
i'm so freaking high now.
LOL.

anyway.
the audition for talent show is tomorrow.
and i don't really know which song should i play.
ah.............
god bless me.
sigh.

just so u know i know.
i'm a very passive person.
don't give me trouble.
i won't even bother to give a shit about u.
that's not the point here.
i've let so many chances passed me by.
cuz i'm too afraid to take any risk.
always take the safest path i'm most comfortable with.
but just once in my life.
i want this.
i'm gonna fight it.
at least i'll try.
bless me bless me.
god.
please.

i'm so really blessed with love. =)

2010-03-09T00:17:00.005-07:00

i feel like i'm in pieces again.

all i can do is foolishly dream that everything was still the same.

yet it's all to late.

i don't know what to do.

u would understand everything i tell u.

and now is the moment i need u so much.

but u're not here.

u're not there as anyone.

i would run into ur arms and tell u my tears and pain.

now i can only.

only hold myself back.

smiling.

smiling to the world.

i'm gonna be fine again.

i want to be more than just fine.

the Swelling of the Ground - held peace

2010-03-03T01:47:00.004-07:00

her funeral is today.
i wasn't able to go since i live too far away.
bee told me he showed up.
everything just seems upsetting.
nothing's going right now.

yesterday.
i seriously chopped off 6 inches of my hair.
idk where did i get that kind of courage.
farewell my hair.
farewell my pain.

have u had the same kind of nightmare 3 times in a row?
i did.
they were insane and disturbing.
i was either killed.
or killed somebody.
but fyi i'm not a psycho.
i'm really not.

i'm getting sick.
i don't want to fall down.
i can only more forward.
what am i doing now?
what am i fighting for?
am i doing the right thing?
or i'm just lost doing something?
i still can't believe this.
i just can't.

i just wish that god loves u a bit less,
so he would have let u stay with us a little longer.

we will always love u, YG

2010-02-28T21:25:00.004-07:00

i would never ever thought.

the day i have to blog again is about something like this.

why her?

god, why her?

i've promised her i would see her someday.

bring her wherever she wants and have all the fun.

now this could never happen.

it's all too late.

i can't do anything for her anymore.

because it's too late for anything now.

she said she was ok.

she said she'll be fine.

but she's gone now.

forever and i could never ever see her again.

please god.

give her strength and love.

may her be extremely well wherever she is now.

i love you with my whole heart.

don't ever forget me.

i won't, too.

2010-02-05T23:22:00.003-07:00

i think everyone's been lazy.

or just don't feel like blogging anymore.

i'm one of them.

anyway.

because of the scavenger hunt.

i became friends with this football player in my history class.

we'll just call him E here.

he wasn't supposed to be in this class.

but he failed the 2nd semester last year.

so pretty much.

E's like this big sweet guy.

i didn't think he'd be such a friendly person, u know.

so.

he had this pretty girlfriend about 4 years.

everyone in school recognize them as the sweetest couple.

but they broke up due to something.

he told me, but i didn't really get it.

haha!

so sorry.

and u know.

i'm always indifference in anything.

sport's not the exception here.

so he was explaining what's quarterback.

who can pass the ball.

who runs and something about 10 yards.

haha!

i kinda got it actually.

i told him i'll watch football game if i have a chance. =)

we had our winter peppa rally today.

it was supposed to be 2 weeks ago.

got delayed cuz school was canceled at the last second.

i think it's pretty fun.

but they said the 2nd assembly is better.

i'm still searching.

2010-01-29T23:00:00.002-07:00

it's friday night.

yeah yeah!!

i think i'm going to the library tomorrow.

to do some community service.

of course it'll be super boring like hell.

but it's not something i can avoid.

since i'm a freaking honor student.

*coughing*

just kidding, guys.

no offence.

anyway.

i got my 3rd or maybe 4th A-team certificate.

we have more than 200 students got invited to this ceremony this time.

the largest one i swear.

i wouldn't say they got honored because they're plain smart.

they just simply work harder than other kids in my school.

don't u think? =)

this will be random.

but being gay is not wrong.

so shut those filthy mouths of yours.

and get lost.

thank you very much.

and u are very welcome.

99 times.

2010-01-21T21:03:00.003-07:00

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. (AP) -- A powerful winter storm crippled Arizona on Thursday, forcing the closure of schools, major interstates and a ski resort, and grounding flights at one of the nation's busiest airports.

it started raining last night.
it's still raining now. =p
and my garbage can flew away.
not literally, it really did.
haha.
my sis and dad went out to search for it.
of course they couldn't fine it.
then the second time.
my parents searched for it again.
mom was smart enough to recognize our garbage can.
and brought it back.
LOL!
anyway. it was just hilarious.
between all these.
i was sleeping. =)

even our school needed to "evacuate" every student and staff member.
almost every bus arrived in 1.45.
my bus was late as usual. ==
just right outside of the school.
a student's car knocked on the back of a teacher's car.
LOL.
poor him and her.
AND! NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!
YEAHH!

my 17th birthday

2010-01-18T14:13:00.001-07:00

i know i haven't been updating anything since last year.

cuz i'm lazy.

i don't have time.

and i'm lazy. =)

well. i celebrated my birthday in Applebee's this year.

nothing special really.

but all i could say i was quite happy.

since i'm easy to please.

*coughing*

well, i told everyone to get me nothing.

of course they wouldn't listen.

lol.

vanessa got me two GIANT bars of hershey's chocolate. =)

my favorite, of course.

and cristina bought me a bag and hello kitty pencil case.

sis gave me a 10 dollars gift card and taylor swift's album.

mom got me a pyjamas.

although it's my birthday.

i still had to stay back at school for tutoring.

ms. heidel was like, "why are u here? it's ur birthday?"

lol. homework comes first.

so i rode the school bus and got home about 6.30.

then my sis told me to get ready cuz we were going out.

i was just so tired.

but i couldn't disobey my parents.

so i went after all.

and came home about 11.30.

moreover. my dad threw up in the middle of the night.

it woke me up.

so i barely had any sleep.

then i found out i had history test the other morning.

how great was it, right?

sigh.

not to mention.

i have 88 birthday wishes in my facebook.

i mean really.

i wasn't expecting any and almost deactivated my fb account.

so nobody could wish me happy birthday.

LOL.

i'm weird, i know.

but still thank you to everyone of u.

i was flattered.

HAHA!!!

before heading out.

oh! and i gave the other half of the cake to the staffs.

LOL.

so everyone's happy! yeah!

it's my blurple cake =)

mom got it lucky though.

new year.

new cheer?

or new fear?

2009-12-31T17:50:00.002-07:00

yup. it was the day before yesterday, i recalled.

i went to bed around 9.30.

and woke up in the middle of the night.

==.

it was bloody 3A.M. for god's sake.

somebody rang the door bell??

...a bit creepy eh.

i was half asleep and awaken.

the bed was shaking itself.

first, i would've thought it was my sister.

but no.

the bind was moving itself too.

oh gosh.

i swear this is the worst quake i've experienced.

my sis came in with a knife and a plate?

just be fortunate i wasn't killed before the ceiling falls on me.

my grandma wasn't pleased when i told her about the quake.

she was like.

“去跟妈咪讲。现在就搬回来住！”

lol. chill.

it was just a tiny quake.

4.9 i supposed?

anyway.

it's still the last day of december here.

they asked me if i'm counting down.

that's only when i realized 2009 is almost over.

lol. forgive me.

well.

happy new year, guys!

we'll be a dream

2009-12-29T09:54:00.003-07:00

it's 29th of december.

it's almost over.

ah......

i'm not ready to start all over again eh.

(¬_¬)

anyway.

what i've been up to..

i've been reading manga like crazy.

the day before yesterday.

i started reading The Gentlemen's Alliance Cross.

and i finised it the same day.

total of 11 volumes.

50 chapters.

amazing huh.

LOL!

morevoer!!

i'm done with Fruits Basket!

yeah yeah!

the ending is super dooper nice.

too bad nobody around me reads manga as much as i do.

(,_,)

one more week left.

i don't think i'll have any time for manga after school started.

that'll will be really really REALLY sad.

get it?

merry go round.................

whee................

2009-12-25T17:51:00.002-07:00

i'm a bit late.
but.

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

of course.
with all my love.
muaxx!!

i'll prove u wrong someday

2009-12-23T00:16:00.003-07:00

currently reading Fruits Basket.
=)

actually i don't know what do i wanna post today.
i'm feeling a bit lightheaded somehow.
maybe it's because i've been reading manga for hours without stopping.
keke.

it's almost christmas.
2009 is almost over.
so what am i expecting for the upcoming year?
things happened so quickly.
and i've been spacing out so much lately.
losing myself in my very own thoughts.
it was unintentional.
really.

i wanted to do a post.
something like giving appreciation to you-know-who for you-know-what.
as i said.
i space out too much and lost myself in the process.
so let's forget about that.
lol.

how to start things over?

2009-12-22T03:36:00.003-07:00

it's almost 4 in the morning here.
lol.
i told u reading manga can be addictive.
fruits basket is plain fantabulous.
=)

just wanna greet u goodnight here.
bye!

I finished crying in the instant that you left.
And I can't remember where or when or how.
And I banished every memory you and I had ever mad.

2009-12-20T00:12:00.004-07:00

i'm free.

*flying up high on the sky*

erhem.

i meant final exam is over. =)

i've given up anime and manga for a long time.

due to my busy school lifestyle.

i think it was like 6 months ago.

omg.

but i'm catching up lately.

and it's so so addictive.

(^o^)

i was supposed to go to the library today.

but yoko's not going.

so i decided to sleep in.

and woke up around 11.

my parents don't like me waking up late.

so what?

(" A ")

anyway.

of course it's only 2 months.

but it's still just 2 months.

that doesn't mean anything.

and i'm not sorry.

so i gonna tell u.

i might not see ur pain.

but u definitely ignored mine.

no matter how people's going to judge me in this.

i'm a bitch.

period.

luv.

it's really hard.

i know.

but hang on there k.

d(>w<)b

u were everywhere.

get out!!

2009-12-16T00:59:00.003-07:00

thongie said i need to update my blog to entertain her so called boring life.
=)

tomorrow i'll be having my first day of final exam.
yeah.........(¬_¬)
just three more days to go.
i shall be patient.

i'm so so lazy to update what i've been doing this month.
i think i'll do that after finals.
and friends are just plain awesome.
THANK YOU! SIEW WEN!

and i wonder if i ever cross your mind.
for me it happens all the time.

2009-12-11T23:20:00.002-07:00

i haven't been here for so many days.
glad that i'm not turning into a facebook addict.
*\(^_^)/*

anyway.
it was raining a bit last monday.
and some parents called in and said they don't want their kids to get soaked. ==
it wasn't even showering. whatever.
then the school changed the whole schedule for us.
we ended up having 4 lunches.
spent 1 hour and a half in english class.
the food even tasted weird.
＜（－︿－）＞

today!
the very first time.
i witnessed a girl fight!
v(￣︶￣)y
everyone was standing on their chairs.
enjoying rather than stopping any of these girls.
haha!
they were pushing, slapping sort of stuff.
girls fight is always better than guys'.
from what i heard.
A girl pushed B girl.
A girl bumped into C girl.
C girl got mad and punched A girl while A girl was hitting B girl??
well. complicated will do.

it's still holidays in malaysia.
everyone's away and having fun in korea or europe.
and whatsoever.
i'm so so bored.
and don't understand why i'm still so exhausted.
even i take nap during the noon.
having finals next week.
i'm not prepared and there's so much stuff to review.
oh god.

this'd be a bit random.
but Loren is really sweet and nice.
i like her.
╰（￣▽￣）╭

there must be a way and i'm going to find it.

2009-12-06T14:04:00.003-07:00

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.
-Benjamin Disraeli

one more week.

finals.

3 days.

one word.

doomed.

i'm not sorry.

2009-12-01T00:38:00.002-07:00

hello.

i don't even know what to write about.

freaking bored.

oh. my dad said i'm going back to Malaysia next summer???

lol. idk.

love everyone of u.

mostly. =)

bye.

♥

2009-11-27T19:02:00.003-07:00

i didn't realized i've gotten so so so lazy lately.

update?

nah. don't feel like doing anything.

one bad thing about holidays.

all i wanna do is eat.

just eat.

oh crap.

since i don't even bother to turn on the laptop.

my sis has been drooling over it almost everyday.

she can be so crazy watching korean drama.

and blah blah.

idk. there's always something for her to do.

i'm bored like shit.

life can be so dull without u cracking me up every second.

what a life.

oh.

happy belated thanksgiving, guys.

I'll learn to roll with the punches and grow up, she says.

2009-11-23T22:50:00.002-07:00

i wasn't here yesterday.

working late till night.

well. i got home about 9p.m.

legs ached like shit.

and today Mrs. Legros made us walk miles again.

once i got home from tutoring today.

i just hit the couch and switched on the tv.

didn't realized i had been watching for hours.

until 10 something.

lol.

and my mom called around 7 said she'd be back real soon.

she wasn't home until 10.

tried to call her.

she didn't even pick up her phone.

my dad was freaking out a bit.

lol.

well. she's safe now.

she was shopping for groceries in walmart.

no biggies. ^^

tomorrow is the last day of school.

yeah!!!!!!

i've waited for this day so long.

omg.

i think i'm not going anywhere for this thanksgiving.

gonna have a small turkey celebration at house. =)

And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

2009-11-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

Shih Tzu

Maltese.

they are so so SO adorable!!!

2009-11-21T20:58:00.004-07:00

what a boring day.

other than watching tv.

and reading vampire book.

i need some excitement.

jeez.

when i was having such a good time on the couch.

dad called.

and "asked" if i wanna work tomorrow.

so i said no.

of course he didn't really give me a choice.

he really REALLY wanted me to work.

then i said ok.

wth.

not happy.

nope.

boo.

i'm like chewing on gum now.

listening to Telephone and Monster by lady gaga.

and i'm not that fond on lady gaga.

see how bored i am now.

sigh.

i'm feeling so darn good.

and it's freaking me out actually.

why do i feel good huh?

i'm such a weirdo.

not good.

*shaking head*

take one to know one.

just wanna be happy.

2009-11-20T23:58:00.001-07:00

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.

Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.

Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.

it's friday. whee.

i'm feeling quite darn good today.

well. i don't really have an explanation for it.

it's not necessary and what so ever.

i just like it. =)

i'll be having a 5 days break next week.

can't wait.

but i don't think i'm not going anywhere.

boo.

i wanna go to las vegas. =(

new moon came out last night!

ish.

and i wasn't in the theater to watch the premiere.

sob.

i'm so going to watch it.

i haven't done any community service.

oh shit! oh shit!!!

and i decided to change my major.

lol.

i don't like pharmacy.

i'll just waste my 4 years in university eh. =p

it's good to be me again.

i want you to read this

2009-11-19T22:50:00.005-07:00

i don't know what to do right now.

i'm just like a lost puppy.

hoping someone can really pull me out from this mess.

i realized it did such a big impact on me.

i'm not moving on?

i did tried.

at least i thought i was.

i didn't know i'm still so upset.

until i got numb.

couldn't make the difference between real heartache.

or just plain sad.

there's anger.

i thought i wasn't angry at u.

but i was wrong.

did u really expect me to get over this.

get over u in such a short period?

it's only been couple weeks.

less than a month.

one second everything seems perfect.

the next second u were gone.

u got me heart broken.

and u expected me to fucking get over u in one month?

do i look so cold-blooded to u?

or maybe u think i'm so nice and generous.

i can be so forgiven.

i told them u did nothing wrong.

u deserve this more than anyone else.

but did i end up convincing myself it was ok after all.

it was ok to get my heart broken this time.

it was meant to happen.

it was ok u to move on so fast and left me behind.

i feel like i'm living in lies.

covering myself up with all these thoughts.

and lie to everyone.

even myself.

he said i need help.

she told me i need to talk to u.

what am i going to say?

i'm not moving on and i'm so angry about u breaking my heart like u didn't even care?

there's still a part of me believing u still care about me.

or was that guilt u were having for me?

but that doesn't make sense to anything i've heard or seen.

did u care if i'm going to be very devastated when i know about the news?

did u care if i'm going to be so broken?

and maybe i couldn't get through this easily?

when u accepted her,

was there a moment u'd cared if i'm going to be so upset and disappointed?

i have no answer for any of them.

u said i'm the only who can understand u.

but do i?

or maybe i never really knew u.

how am i going to make u understand i'm breaking down so badly.

and need to end this right now.

even if.

what do i want from u?

i know there's no going back.

we created such a mess.

i couldn't bear to live with this every single day.

i don't want u back.

but what do i really want?

i really don't know.

i just wanna stop this pain.

i'm really tired.

i know u're not a bastard.

but why did u break my heart like this?

i'd expected this the least from u.

and i got all of these from u.

u said u're sorry.

and so many other things.

i think u meant it.

but are u really sorry?

maybe i just see my pain.

and neglected urs.

what am i supposed to do now.

be patient and wait until all these fade away.

sounds like a plan.

but i know it ain't going to work until we sort it out.

how?

i don't want to bring my own frustration to u.

u have a life now.

and being so happy and all.

i'd be so selfish to let u take on something like this.

so what should i do.

what should i say.

i sound so pathetic and bitchy now..

like i'm craving for everyone's attention and sympathy.

u'd hate me if u read this.

but i can't face u.

and this is the best i can do for now.

i'm sorry for everything.

forgive me.

nobody can help me this time.

2009-11-19T21:51:00.003-07:00

didn't get on the internet yesterday at all.

feel like i've been gone for the whole week.

yet it was just one day.

it felt quite good actually.

allowed myself to have some time to think things through.

but sadly.

it's just gotten worse.

lol.

i have so many late assignments to catch up.

geometry can be so confusing.

and mr. ji talks too fast sometimes.

imagine learning the whole new chapter with the textbook.

one word. tough.

i had a nightmare.

having a déjà vu.

the dream about u.

but she's with u this time.

losing u.

loneliness was overwheliming.

i woke up with cold sweats.

the same feelings and horror again.

like that day when i realized it wasn't the same with u anymore.

i'm sorry.

2009-11-17T19:51:00.003-07:00

it's been a long day.

finally done with Spanish test.

and chemistry quiz.

those bonus questions saved my ass.

pheww.

i didn't sleep before 11 last night.

2A.M. indeed.

haha.

well. i was talking with my gf all night.

couldn't just leave her alone. =)

i'm really tired now.

my bro just left.

gonna miss him a lot.

we had our lunch in 24 daybreakers.

the food sucked.

haha.

then we talked about his old life in Anderson school.

asked about his gf and stuff.

he asked about mine.

lol. my dad will kill me if he knows anything about it.

not kidding dude.

i still have questions for u.

but i'm not slowing the process down.

and no. i do not wanna talk.

they said i read people like a book.

2009-11-16T20:14:00.003-07:00

i'm upset.

i left my textbook in my chemistry class.

and i only found out when i was on the bus already.

how stupid i am.

sigh.

my sis said, "how could u even leave something like this behind?"

err. apparently idk.

today was freezing cold.
really really REALLY cold. ><

i woke up at 6.15 in the morning.

the temperature in house was already 70 fanrenheit.

imagine outside right.

then i had to wake up my bro.

so he could give me a ride to Otondo elementary school.

poor him. =(

i'm lazy to talk about those details.

but it ended around 8.

and i came back home to fb.

yeah. fb.

i'm addicted.

ish.

during aerobics.

we had to walk for miles even with the wind and everything.

cold like shit dude.

teacher still wanted us to get outside.

then i was all hobo-ing.

and said bunch of bullshit.

haha.

emily cracked up like shit.

my sis just kept on shaking her head.

lol.

"don't hit my head, hobo will come back"

♥

try making me drunk.

u'd love it. =p

2009-11-15T21:48:00.002-07:00

tomorrow i have cleanup.

need to wake up at 6.

and get to Ortondo school by 7.

which i don't even know where the hell it is.

lol.

well. keep ur fingers crossed for me.

i watched 2012 with my family.

this movie is insanely brilliant.

i think i cried throughout the movie.

haha.

it's so heartbreakingly sad and touching, u know.

if u don't watch this movie.

u're not even deserve to be a human being.

LOL. *just kidding*

sometimes good movie really make u realize so many things.

appreciate people around u.

don't take them for granted.

there's so many sad scenes.

when adrian calls his dad.

when the russian rich guy sacrificed himself to save his sons.

when the president wanted his daughter to be safe.

and much more.

omg.

i love it!

i mean.

what if the world really ends someday.

what would u do about it.

i think i'll probably just lay on my bed and wait for the house to crash.

they're so many people in this world.

fighting for love. money. fame.

what do those make them?

better person? more popular?

idk.

and us.

wasting every second of our lives.

giving ourselves so many different excuses.

"i'm just 16"

"i'll do it later"

"it'll be fine"

we're living in lies.

and yet we think it's going to just fine.

just a little bit longer.

humans are such a good liar.

no?

Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

2009-11-15T12:33:00.002-07:00

i've been going to bed really early.

around 10.

lol.

i know this sounds unbelievable.

but yes.

i'm not staying up late anymore. =)

i had this nightmare.

and it was insane.

i was haunted by this ghost.

she wanted me to look for someone.

and threatened to kill me in my dream.

omg.

can't i just have a normal sweet dream like everyone else.

sigh.

two is better than one.

this was once my favorite song.

idk who started this fever.

but UG was right.

one is better than two.

this song would be really sweet for the couples.

but not for the singles. *pointing myself*

when someone left u broken and all.

this song will only make ur heart ache.

everything will keep on changing.

nothing will remain the same.

forever can't be forever.

no matter how sweet 2 ppl can be for now.

the passion will fade away.

and soon there's nothing left to cherish of.

i miss u, bee chian. ♡

2009-11-13T20:10:00.004-07:00

it's time to blog again.

lol.

how come i still find blogging part of my daily routine.

no idea. =)

anyway.

i'm in a pleasant mood today.

got perfect score in spanish text.

haha.

today was a bit freezing cold, too.

sis just got back from phoenix.

showing us those pics she's taken in ASU campus.

pretty nice.

maybe i should consider ASU too.

my bro might be going back to vegas next monday.

boo.

i'm sorry that i hadn't been able to spend time with him.

btw.

i need a new hair straightener.

tapi takda duit.

sob. =(

u're not that influential after all.

2009-11-12T16:58:00.002-07:00

mr. ji didn't come today.

so i got out my phone.

and blasted the music into my ears with my new Skullcandy earphones.

they're pretty awesome.

i couldn't hear the noise anymore.

only those sad sad songs.

that'll break ur heart even more.

sigh.

the weather's been cloudy all day.

until now.

i wonder why sun's not showing himself today.

it's making me sad.

boo.

i've been worse.

so i considered myself as a survivor now.

just need some time to get over this.

get over u.

the more i think of u.

the more disappointed i am.

all i see is lies.

i'm glad u left me.

cuz i would never break ur heart the way u did to me.

2009-11-11T22:42:00.003-07:00

it's veteran day.

no school.

good.

i need some proper rest.

went out with bro and sis.

to buy some gift for Michelle's new born baby boy.

and got this ridiculous big toy for him.

well.

my bro paid for it.

i have no complaint. =)

still breathing currently.

which is good.

my blog is getting sadder and more depressing.

guess what.

i'm dead like a zombie.

so don't expect me to go all hyper and whee like last time.

u're just smart enough to want something for youself.

and picked one of the options.

i'm just foolish enough to follow my little thing called principle.

and rather to choose nothing.

even i'm going to be all alone from now on.

i don't play tricks.

i know what i want.

You were a dream, now memory.

Orientation Day 1

summer in Las Vegas

JELLY/ViVi mag - july 2010

it's all too late.

我被。。告白。。难以置信。。哈哈。。

1st annual talent show

nina bf. good luck with my girlfriends =)

BeeChian Phuah › Ng Kher Shin: sure!! i would like to see his chopped off head soon haha.ttyl and bye. good night =)

Ng Kher Shin › BeeChian Phuah: HAHAH. i want baskin robin's ice cream! that'll be enough. yes ma'am, you can trust me on killing Lee Hong Nian tomorrow. thursday, 4.36 pm sharp ;D anyways, i g2g : ) BYEEE.

BeeChian Phuah › Ng Kher Shin: of course i dont and stab him with all your effort.so you are now my officially hired assassin and promised me to do so? haha dealed?? i gotta remind you that i am kinder broke now and i cant afford a high payment T.T

Ng Kher Shin › BeeChian Phuah: so there should at least be 2 stabs, but you dont mind if i stab a lil more righhtttt ;D

BeeChian Phuah › Ng Kher Shin: too bad i wouldnt meet him.could i hire you to be my assassin? pleaseeeee =)

Ng Kher Shin › BeeChian Phuah: HAHAH. i might be sitting next to him tomorrow. should i use my blade or my fingernails. HAHA.

BeeChian Phuah › Ng Kher Shin: welcome ;) ya i really thought of killing him.he grabbed your gf and my fiance away right? may be you should stab him once and follow by mine =P

Ng Kher Shin › BeeChian Phuah: thanks for accepting : ) *points relationship status* let us kill hongnian XD

it's just hilarious, alright =)

不管结果是怎样，真的永远都不会忘记你

we will always love u, YG

my 17th birthday

i want you to read this

♥

Ng Kher Shin › BeeChian Phuah: thanks for accepting : ) points relationship status let us kill hongnian XD